Dipper's Guide the the Unexplained Anomaly Number 138: Amity Park
by ShinyMudkipGal
Summary: 'Amity Park! A Nice Place To Live' Yeah, sure, let's go with that. Maybe for once, it won't be so bad.
1. Chapter 1

"Why, exactly, are we doing this?" Dipper mumbled as he shoved an extra pine tree hat in his brown backpack.

Mabel grinned as she put one of her boy band posters in her own teal backpack with a star on it. "Oh come on, even Stan agrees it's alright!"

Dipper sighed as he rubbed his face. "I guess it's just a little odd that Ford suddenly asks us to go on a trip to a town like Gravity Falls."

"What, like supernatural stuff?"

Dipper shook his head. "No, like no one has ever heard of it before. We hadn't heard of Gravity Falls until Mom and Dad sent us here, right?"

The female twin swung her backpack over her shoulder and shrugged. "Oh come on, it'll be fun! We can meet new people, get some things for Mom and Dad, Ford and Stan will be with us, what could possibly go wrong?"

Dipper slapped a hand across his face. "You totally just jinxed it."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Di-"

Suddenly, the attic door slammed open as Ford walked in. To keep himself conspicuous, he ditched the trench coat and got new glasses (though they looked the same). Mabel had knitted him a new red sweater, and he cleaned his boots to make them less dirty.

"I can hear you two yelled from outside!" he scolded lightly. "Be quieter next time, okay?"

"How could you hear us?" Mabel asked in a sweet voice full of curiosity.

Ford raised an eyebrow and pointed to the open window in between the twin's two beds.

The brunettes mouths then formed an 'oh' in unison. Dipper grabbed his backpack, sister's hand, then ran out of the room with Ford following behind them. They soon arrived out in front with Stan readying the RV, throwing bags in the back of it without checking what's in them. He dusted his hands off and looked at his brother and great nephew and niece with a smile. "There you go! All ready to go on this trip of yours. Soos took a look at it and made sure all of the gizmos and… things work."

Ford smiled back. "All right, let's go!" Three of the four boarded, until Dipper and Mabel ran back out in confusion.

"Grunkle Stan, aren't you coming?" Dipper asked.

Stan waved a hand and shook his head. "Nah, I have to watch the Shack. Plus, who else is going to pay for the gas and hotel?"

"Ford?" the twins asked in unison.

Stan face-palmed but smiled nonetheless. "Just, don't worry, okay? Have a good time!"

"Bye, Stan!" the other three waved, and hopped in the RV. Stan waved back, and walked back into the Shack. The twins saw him once more wave through the window, making them smile to him.

"Alright kids, did I ever mention where we are going anyway?" Ford, asked as the RV started to move.

The mystery twins shook their heads in unison.

The old nerd grinned. "We're going to a place called Amity Park, Illinois, so get ready for a multiple-hour trip!"

Cue the groans.

 **SO CAUGHT UP IN YOU, LITTLE LINEBREAK!**

"How long have we been in here?" Mabel whined as she dealt a card from the small pile.

Dipper checked his watch. "Thirty-eight minutes," he glared at the cards that he held. "I blame this boring game."

"What time is it, anyway?" the female asked as she started to gather the cards and put them back in the small container.

Dipper checked his watch again. "Six-thirty AM," he yawned, "and I thought it was eight-thirty."

"I blame the government!" Mabel shouted as she banged her fist on the table. For no reason whatsoever.

Dipper grinned. "You mean the babies in the high court, or the president now?"

"All of them!"

 **I WAS TIRED OF NORMAL LINEBREAKS, THEY HAVE BEEN HERE TOO LONG!**

"Kids, we're almost there!" Ford called from the front seat. He tossed a few chips into his mouth. "Just twenty more minutes!"

There was no cheering, just exhausted snoring from the back. Ford shook his head in amusement as he parked the RV to a gas station. As he filled it up, he thought of the real reason for the road trip. Of course it wasn't a 'normal family outing', he just had never been there before, and heard that it was actually haunted. Who knew? It could just be local legend, or paranoia, but that wouldn't stop Ford from doing his job.

He paid for the gas and started the RV again, making Dipper jump up and yelp quietly. He groggily walked up to Ford who pulled out of the gas station, mumbling a, "Hi, Grunkle Ford. What time is it?"

Ford looked at the RV's clock. "It's about one in the morning, kid. Only a while left to go, though, so don't worry."

"Where are we going to stay, anyway?" Dipper rubbed his eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them.

Ford shrugged. "In some RV camp, I guess. If we can find a cheap motel, then chances are we'll take it. Stan gave us plenty of money."

Dipper nodded and went to the fridge to get a drink. "Want some lemonade?"

Suddenly the old man growled. "I don't want your dang lemons!"

Blink blink.

"Sorry, I just have a bad history with lemons," he grumbled as Dipper looked at him in shock. Ford grinned back at the kid. "I'll be the guy to make bombs out of the lemons and make life take 'em back!"

"Ooookay…" Dipper drawled out and poured two cups of the yellow liquid into cups. He walked over back to the small table with Mabel fast asleep on it. "Psst, hey Mabel, I have some lemonade for you."

Mabel moaned, but her eyes slowly fluttered open. "Ugh, what time is it?" She rubbed her eyes just like Dipper had, then thankfully took the cup with lemonade in it. "Did you offer some to Ford?"

"Lemons are evil!" he called back. Then he smiled, and pointed to a sign. "Here we are kids, Amity Park!"

Dipper looked at the sign Ford was pointing at, and he paled. The sign said: 'Amity Park! A Nice Place To Live!'

Chances are, it was the total opposite.

 **Songs used for the linebreaks are…**

 **'So Caught Up In You' by .38 Special**

 **'Escape/The Pina Colada Song' by Rupert Holmes.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! There's more to come!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fear the Fuzzy Bear:** The 'Lemon Rage' is a reference to a few lines that the voice actor for Ford had in Portal. His name is Cave Johnson, I think. It's really funny, and all I could hear when my friend showed it to me was Ford.

 **Dragonsjustice:** You don't understand how hard I'm laughing right now.

 **The Keeper of Worlds:** Of course!

 **Mimi1012:** No thanks, I'm good, but Mabel might not be…

 **gamelover41592:** Aw, thanks!

 **Axe:** :D

 **Sonic Squid:** I've been having names pop in my head, and I've got one. YEAH!

Mabel sat on the RV's table, with a basket full of sugar packets next to her. She was going to eat them all. All of them, she promised herself! She ripped one open and dumped the whole thing in her mouth, making an 'om nom nom' sound as she did so.

Suddenly, a prepubescent male burst through the RV's door. "Mabel, I got a new camera! Come on, let's record a 'Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained!"

Mabel dumped another sugar packed in her mouth and furiously swallowed it. "Okie dokie!" Dipper held up the camera while Mabel pulled a piece of cardboard out from under the table. The twins switched items, Mabel starting to work on the camera while Dipper started to write on the cardboard.

"Okay, in three..." Mabel counted off. "Two… One… Action!"

Dipper waved to the camera, and gave a smile. "Hey to whoever is watching this, I'm Dipper Pines, and my sister, Mabel, is the one recording."

"Hello!" Mabel's voice rang out.

Dipper's face grew serious. "This is a special version of Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained. This time we're in Amity Park!" He held up the cardboard. "Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained anomaly number one, 'Amity Park'. It may not be supernatural, who knows?" he shrugged. "But we've never heard of this place, and I've seen Ford's charts to the most places with supernatural occurrences, Gravity Falls being number one, and a place near Illinois being number two. And, here we are in Illinois, so why not try to scope the place out?" The camera went blank.

* * *

The camera started up again with Dipper holding it up. "Here we are at the park, and we've decided to interview some people about the whole ordeal." The camera turned to three teenagers, two male and one female. One of the males and the female both had black hair, and the last male had glasses and a red hat. "Hi, I'm making a web series about supernatural stuff. Is there anything weird about this town?"

The black-haired male snorted. "If ghosts count as weird, then heck yeah."

Dipper nearly dropped the camera when he heard the word ghost. "So… are they friendly, or do they-"

"Yes, they attack people," the female snapped. "It basically happens everyday, but I'm assuming your new here and all that. There's some good ghosts, one being Phantom."

Dipper didn't catch the blush the black-haired male produced. "Phantom? Who's that?"

This time, it was glasses that spoke up. "He's like a superhero! He saves people by protecting them from the ghosts that show up, but most adults think he's evil."

"Why's that?"

"You ask a lot of questions," black-haired boy chuckled. "Phantom has been caught doing things he never wanted to do. He was being controlled by a guy once, making him steal a lot of stuff." He shifted uncomfortably, looked at his feet.

The girl cut in. "If you looked closely at the footage from the shops he 'stole'," she used air quotes, "you could see that he had red eyes. He usually has glowing green eyes, but people don't believe him."

"And you guys do?" Dipper questioned.

"Yes," Glasses and Girl spoke, but the middle kept silent.

Dipper turned to him. "What do you think?"

He hesitated. "He's cool, I guess."

The camera went black.

* * *

The camera started up once more. "Here we are again, but this time with some adults." The camera turned to a pair of adults. "What are your names?"

It was the female that spoke up first. "I'm Laura, and this is my husband John." The latter waved. "What do you need, hon?"

Dipper blushed behind the camera. "Uh, what's your opinion on Phantom?"

Laura's face brightened up. "Oh, he's a sweet fellow. He saved my flower shop once, and even apologized to me for the inconvenience. Very, very kind."

The man beside her frowned. "I disagree. While my wife thinks he's a hero, I believe he's a menace. He had damaged properties, stole jewels and gems, money, and kidnapped the old mayor. Kid's a powerful one, though. Not one thing has stopped him."

Dipper nodded. "Thanks!"

The camera went black.

* * *

"Hi again, it's me, Mabel~!" the girl jumped up and down in the camera's view. "I had to go shopping because there was a sale, but I'm back! I'm going to be helping my brother, who's behind the camera."

A hand was waved in front of the screen.

"Anyway, we're a view steps away from some teens, two girls and two boys. Let's go!" the camera hopped up and down to keep up with the bouncing girl running towards the teens. "Hi, I'm Mabel, and this is my brother Dipper!"

Dipper waved. "We were wondering, and have been asking questions about Phantom. What's your opinion on the guy?"

The blond male grinned. "He's like, my idol! He's so cool, fighting ghosts and stuff!" He made a few kung-fu moves.

The other male spoke as well. "He's pretty funny two, not afraid to make a snarky comment or quip to who he's fighting."

A female with dark, wavy, brown hair spoke next. "He's like, my soul mate! We were destined to be together! He saved me once, we were trapped in a weird hospital..." She trailed off.

The girl next to her with blond hair started to speak. "We were all bitten with this weird ghost-bug and got a virus of some sort. Phantom saved us all from the thing, but only a few students made it out without a virus in the beginning."

"Who were they?" Dipper asked.

"There were a few losers that we didn't get the names of, but then there were Foley and Fenton," the blond male spoke again with a small smirk. "They were lucky, honestly, but still, we got to meet Phantom and they didn't!"

"Who are Fenton and Foley?" Mabel asked.

"They are two of the trio in school. Foley is a huge nerd, always playing with technology, and Fenton..." the second boy trailed off. "He's odd. He's clumsy and cowardly, and some guys pick on him at school." No one noticed the blond boy roll his eyes. "But he is always scared when he's picked on, but he isn't afraid to interfere when they pick on somebody else, like a guy named Mikey. He's always the first to leave when a ghost attacks, too."

"Yeah, and his parents hunt ghosts!" the brown haired girl cringed. "They're the town's local nutcases, and they always try to capture Phantom and rip him apart molecule by molecule. It's pretty disturbing."

Dipper and Mabel shared a look with each other. "Okay, thanks for that. See you around!" The camera turned black with Mabel waving to the teens.

* * *

Once Dipper and Mabel were in a private area in the park, they starting talking about the things they heard. "So, majority is that Phantom's a good guy, but we can never be to sure," the male twin started. "So, I think we should go to the Fenton's, and see what they think."

"Sounds like a plan, bro-bro!" Mabel wrapped an arm around her brother's shoulder. "Come on, let's go and-"

A scream cut her off.


End file.
